I am still processing my feelings, but I know this for certain. "I am your Mother"... this is the perspective I like to remember. I do not prefer to think of it as a miscarriage. The term seems so harsh and impersonal. I loved our little one before conception (during six months of trying to get pregnant), for the nine weeks he or she was growing inside me and even now, after the loss. I love our little one with the love of a Mother. That our little one is my child brings me comfort.
I try not to focus on that heartbreaking moment when my OB/GYN confirmed the absence of our baby's heartbeat, or the tears streaming down my sweet husband's cheeks, or the emptiness I feel in my belly . I have to give life to these words to honor our little one.
It has taken days to write this post , during which, there have been so many ups and downs. It still hurts, but today, the sun shined in PA and I am surrounded by a loving family. It was a good day.
3 comments:
Good thoughts and good post. Here's to more happy days.
Britt, I'm so glad you wrote this. When we lost our little one we learned you have to "feel it to heal it" and it's so true! We'll always remember your little Mexican baby! You know he/she was coming out Mexican!! :)
Oh, Brittany, those are beautiful words. Same thing happened once at a 10 week appointment for me, no heartbeat. I know the pain. YOu are loved. life straight up sucks sometimes. Hang in there
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